Regardless of whether or not it is your first horse, the first thing you are going to want to do with your new horse is bond with them. It takes time and understanding to form a good bond with any horse, so setting aside free time to bond is important. Remember that your new horse has just left the home they knew and are now in a new one. We cannot fully know the emotional lives that horses have. Anything positive you do with your horse will increase and strengthen the bond you have and will help them adjust faster.
Bonding with your new horse is a natural desire but horses are not like humans… they will not automatically fall in love with you in the same way you have with them. Building a good and healthy relationship and strong bond with a new horse takes time but it does not have to be a chore, it should be fun for both you and your new horse.
How to Bond with a New Horse
First and foremost, when it comes to your horse you need to establish leadership. While building a positive relationship is critical, it’s just as important to build a firm, fair and consistent leadership style with your new horse. Communicate your expectations clearly and make sure your horse follows through to the best of their abilities.
Below are a few tips and tricks that will help you bond with your new horse in no time at all.
1) Be Calm and Relaxed Around Your Horse
Horses tend to pick up on the emotions of the people that are around them and they will actually mirror the energy in the atmosphere that you put off. If you are visibly nervous, your horse will pick up on it and more than likely start to get nervous.
If you get frustrated every time you work with your horse, they are going to start associating you with stress and panic. It is important to calm your emotions before walking into a training session with your horse. Staying cool, calm and collected will offer a safe haven for your horse and for you as your horse starts thinking of you as a place of refuge.
Maintaining a calm demeanor in a difficult situation, will not only offer some calm to your horse, but it will also allow them to see that the situation is nothing to get worked up about. Mastering your emotions is essential to becoming a better equestrian.
2) Be Consistent and Firm But Also Fair
Just like with children, you should be firm, fair and consistent. At all times, you should be firm in your leadership. Communicate clearly and firmly your expectations regarding your horse’s manners and behavior. But be fair. Do not expect a horse to do anything it is not trained or physically able to do. And be consistent. When you ask your horse to back up, do it in the same way every time. Use the same aids and cues each time you work with your horse. Horses are creatures of habit and like predictability.
3) Do Not Only Show Up for Chores or To Ride
We are all busy and can easily get in the habit of only showing up for riding or driving time. But try to take time just to visit. Simple things like hand grazing in a bit of lush grass they normally cannot get to, scratching bellies or necks and just hanging out together is a relaxing way to bond.
In a herd, horses spend all day together. By giving your horse that quality time, you are establishing yourself as part of their herd. In the wild, horses graze next to each other all day. By spending more time with your horse, you will make yourself a constant in their life. Horses love constants.
Take time to simply talk to your horse every now and then. Let them get used to your voice and something to listen to. You will notice that when you talk, their ears constantly follow you, even if they have no idea of what you are saying. If they are ever put in a stressful situation, you can talk to them. Since they are familiar with your voice, it will offer a familiar aspect in an otherwise not familiar situation.
4) Understand Your Horse’s Body Language
Understanding your horse’s body language and shaping your body language will help you communicate with your horse and create a closer bond. This has to be done with consistency, however. Something like “join up” or other behaviors you have taught will not be permanent if your horse never knows what to expect next from you. Learn to understand what your horse is thinking by observing their facial expressions (yes, horses do have them), ears, tail, and posture.
5) Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement works by rewarding your horse for doing the right thing rather than telling him off for doing something wrong, but it is effective when building a bond because you are allowing the horse to make his own decisions and mistakes and to learn from them. Your horse will know very quickly when he has done something good and he will associate this positive state of mind with you.
6) Grooming Your Horse
Believe it or not, grooming your horse does not just make their coat shine but it can also help to build (and increase) a bond, especially if you focus on the areas your horse has trouble reaching. Referred to as allogrooming or social grooming, horses will often nibble at each other’s necks, withers and backs. Not only does it feel good to them, but it also allows them to form relationships with other horses, and in turn with you when you dedicate the time to do this.
When you groom your horse, it is often relaxing to them. Sometimes horses will even nibble you while you groom them as a way for them to show their appreciation.
7) Groundwork Exercises
Groundwork is an excellent way to build a stronger bond with your horse. It encourages respect for your personal space and helps your horse look to you as a leader, which in turn deepens trust and strengthens your partnership.
When introducing your horse to something new, especially during training, it is always best to start with the basics rather than diving in and hoping they will adapt right away. A simple place to begin is asking your horse to walk calmly in hand and halt on cue. This exercise improves communication and reinforces respect for your space, while also laying the foundation for more advanced work. Once you have both mastered this, you can confidently move on to more challenging tasks.
When teaching your horse to lead properly, the goal is to have them walk quietly by your side without pulling on the lead rope. When you stop, your horse should stop as well. This not only teaches respect for your space but also encourages your horse to follow your lead with attentiveness and trust.
8) Respect Your Horse
Respect is a two-way street. Just as your horse needs to learn to respect you, you must also respect your horse. This means giving them the space, time, and patience they need as you work together. Horses are large animals, and their natural instinct is to flee when they feel afraid, so understanding their perspective is essential.
Respect is not only the foundation of a strong bond but also a key factor in your safety. Your horse needs to recognize your personal space and view you as a leader. By using positive reinforcement while teaching boundaries, you encourage your horse to respect you without fear or resistance.
When mutual respect is established, trust naturally follows, creating a solid bond between you and your horse.
How Long Does Bonding Take?
How long it takes for you and your horse to truly build a strong bond depends on how much time you invest in building this relationship each week. The more frequently your horse sees you and is used to being in your company, the quicker it will take them to trust you and enjoy your time together.
Respect is a crucial element of the relationship and bond you build with your horse. A few sessions of productive groundwork will undoubtedly have an impact in improving your bond with your horse. This will especially be the case if you are consistent in these sessions as the rider and ‘leader’ in your relationship with your horse.
It is important to note that a horse’s personality and their history can also have an impact on how long it takes them to trust you and start building a relationship. A nervous horse will take longer to relax and remain calm in your company. Similarly, a horse who is naturally stubborn or has a tendency to avoid human contact will take longer to bond with.
With that being said, do not underestimate how much progress you can make in a single session with your horse. A few hours of being assertive, yet kind and calm in your horse’s presence can do wonders for how they feel about you and being around you.
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